Thursday, February 5, 2009

Today I Was Blessed (from Jan 27th)

I wanted to share with you all the blessings God bestowed on me tonight. It's left me ever more aware of my strength and ability to overcome, and more sure of my spirituality -- I am not alone!

I got home around 6:00 after a rough doctor's appointment, a romp in the woods with Kula, and some Chinese food with a friend. The falling snow had recently turned to freezing rain, and the roads were starting to become slick. I knew getting up the hill of my driveway would be a challenge, but I was looking forward to conquering it.

I sped up as I approached the house, and made it half way up before loosing steam. I backed down, returning to the road for a second go. This time I made it a bit further, but still not all the way. I decided to back down again to leave the car in the road and snowblow it all before trying again. But, instead of rolling down to the road, I slid my way off the driveway into a snowbank. I was most definitely stuck! (How ironic for a AAA driver!)

Here I had a few options: accept the offer from a work friend to have him come over and use his chain and truck to drag me out; call one of the guys at work who was working to come by with the tow truck; find a local friend on the fire department to help; call AAA as a member and do what everyone else does; or wait until morning when a guy I know would be working and could swing by.

My desire was to find a solution which allowed me to retain my independence, not feel as though I owed anyone anything for the help, be respectful to my housemates in who I had stopping by, and know I solved the problem on my own. In years past, when I was single, my method would be to manipulate one of the men in my life to bail me out by making him believe he was a hero and coming to my rescue. While it was always quite effective, this isn't exactly a healthy message to be conveying. In recognizing that, I am finding myself in uncharted territory.

So, I called Mom to ask for advice. Right as she was counseling me to call AAA like a normal person, my neighbor, Sue came walking over. Sue had seen me get stuck during the last snow storm and asked if I needed a hand. I told her it wasn't a big deal, but if her husband, Dale had any advice to let me know (he was just finishing snowblowing their driveway.)

Sue returned with Dale, a snowblower (mine broke trying to get the car unearthed), and a shovel. Before I could express my gratitude they were going to work, not just clearing around my car, but the entire driveway, mailbox and widening the opening from the road. Sue and I shoveled side by side, and shared with me the experience of her 1st marriage, how Dale came into her life 7 years ago, their love for one another, faith in God, love for their families, growing up, you name it! She encouraged me to join them at church (a non-denominational Christian church which emphasizes community and spiritual togetherness), and said how sorry she was to hear about my relationship, offering me anything I might need.

Once Dale finished with the snowblower we tried moving the car. No luck. At that moment the plow was coming through our street. Dale waves him down and asks for his help. The town plower got out, and they all pushed while I sat behind the wheel. It took 3 tried before I was up the driveway!

I couldn't thank them enough, and Dale said, my agreeing to come over for dinner and games would be payment enough! Sue said that it was God's plan to bring us together. And I have to say, I couldn't agree more. I fought the urge to give in to my anxiety and call on a man to bail me out. Instead I opened myself up to my weakness and accepted my limitations. In return, God blessed me with a gift for my ability to make the right choice and helped bail me out through the kindness of human spirit. It was a testament that I can, indeed, survive and thrive on my own, because he is always watching over me.

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